Just a stranger in this world... dropping by to take care of some business.

2007-02-05T03:22:00.000-05:00

my clinical duty started today. yun lang...

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T09:54:00.000-05:00

the last few weeks was really exhausting for me. i have to study for my exams and packed up to go here in New York. my friends didn't know that i'll be celebrating my Christmas Holidays here in NY and i can see myself being cursed by them went i go back in Manila. hahaha. i dunno if i passed one of my major exam. i didn't study. yes, it's for real! i was really excited going to NY so all i did was packing up and buying stuffs my mom and siblings were asking me to get them. i went here last Thursday and my flight was really a good one. my airline upgraded their planes and their in flight entertainment was really awesome. i haven't got enough sleep from my flight 'coz i was really excited seeing my mom and siblings who fetch me at the airport everytime i go here in NY. but i was really shocked when a friend of my mom fetched me and told me that mom is in the hospital. she was admitted earlier that morning. it made me feel really sad. we went to the hospital to see mom and there she was lying in the hospital bed with a neck brace. she fell on the stairs in our house. she was discharged yesterday morning and i was really happy 'coz she will be celebrating christmas at home. our christmas eve was really fun. the dinner was turkey and ham with all those self-taught-culinary-foods by my sister. i was eating like theres no tomorrow 'coz there will be no Turkey in Manila only Chicken Joy again. lol. we already opened our gifts and i was really happy on what i got. all the stores and malls are closed today so i think i will be just staying at home and eat again. lol. i thank my mom again for getting me here in NY back for the holidays. a big hug for my mom.

exams nxt week...

2006-12-16T06:36:00.000-05:00

My first major exams is on next week and im not yet mentally and physically ready. im still recovering from my very stressful clinical duty. im still tired of the long travels and lacking of sleep. i still don't have enough knowledge on everything. my lessons were all tackled so fast we have to study on our own. i failed 2 quizzes for this sem and got an A+ on my MS class and a perfect quiz on my Psyche class. i hope my grades would come out good so that i could pass this sem. everything for me is getting harder and studying is now a major issue. Im getting bored in class. I only study if i got a quiz or a recitation. I dont read the required pages everyday. I only read a page of it and im done. would somebody wake me up? haha. i have to go now and study. My first exam is MS and i dunno what would i answer on that very tricky questions.

first day of duty. first day to back off.

2006-12-04T08:14:00.000-05:00

my first clinical rotation started today and i didn't expect what happened earlier this morning. i woke up 3 a.m. and started my clinical duty rituals. i cooked my own breakfast and took a bath with the freezing water. our meeting time was 5.30 a.m. and it was too early for me get a ride to our meeting place. so i waited like an hour to get a ride. thanks god i got there on time. there would be another hour for me to get to the hospital and the only way to get there is to take a bus. an ordinary bus. i hate ordinary buses. they drive like lunatics and they don't care about their passengers. and i hate the smoke and all the dusts that comes from the other vehicles. it was really a roller coaster ride. when we arrived at the place, i thought the hospital would be seen in our sight but there are no hospitals to be found. only smelly markets and congested streets. and then, my classmate told us we have to walk and i was like what the f*ck!!! but i have nothing else to do. i have to walk and walk and then walk again. our walking never stops. we passed through high bushes and we were like in a another mountain. i was really freakin' out 'coz i didn't expected that we will be climbing a mountain. damn!!! when we arrived at the hospital, i really tired and all of us were cathcing our breaths and perspring alot. our clinical duty have not started yet and we were all sweaty and smelly. we were assigned to the Pedia ward and it was a place full of devil kids crying. it was really a very toxic duty. i handled almost five patients and i hate them all. hahaha. and we were all required to get a screen for hepatitis B by the institution 'coz i think the health municipality there don't allow nursing students to affiliate if they don't have vaccines. needle inserted to my vein and the story goes on. we were anxiously waiting outside the laboratory for the results and then the medtech called my number and i was very happy to get the result 'coz i was negative but i was saddened because one of my groupmate and also a friend of mine went positive. we put everything to normal things awhile ago when we heard the news and i hope she would get cured. and then after our clinical duty we went home and i fell asleep the whole travel back to sm fairview. i have to go to bed 'coz 3 a.m. is getting near again. Nite!

best week ever

2006-11-29T05:36:00.000-05:00

this week is the best week eveeeeeeerrr!!! i have two weeks off in my clinical duty and now i don't have to attend my lectures 'coz there will be no classes tomorrow because of a typhoon and some holiday on friday!!! this is really fun!!! i haven't got enough sleep because i was too excited about the realease of havaianas 2007 collection. i woke up too early this morning just to get early at the mall. my nerves were freakin' out when i arrived at the mall. but, i got too disappointed when gazillion people where already inside the mall. i am not just gonna look at them. i rushed inside and get all the new stuffs in the display rack. the display racks are all ransacked and emptied up. all the people where having not a pair but dozen pairs in their hands. i was too late awhile ago but i still got the best flip flops. the store closed early for cleaning up and displaying new items. i was lucky enough to get the new flip flops. then, a young fine pretty lady approached me and asked me where did i get my superman havies. i told her that i bought it from the states and i said to her that i could get one for her and she was like really excited about it. she get my number and i just told her to text me what she wants. she was so pretty. i could give her anything she asked me. hahaha. she was really jelly with my superman havies and she was staring it the whole time and i don't wanna show off 'coz my feet are full of varicose veins. hahaha. well, this day is too fun and exciting. mall of asia is getting nearer to me. hahaha. i don't have classes tomorrow so i have all the time to fix things out here.

laughing trip

2006-11-24T12:49:00.000-05:00

i was almost late to school this morning. i woke up late and i was really rushing. i just dumped my school stuffs in my backpack and stashed away with my two thick books. i was really nervous while going to school. it was my nclex review and i don't wanna miss that class. i entered the laboratory and all my classmates were already on their computers waiting for the attendance to pop out in their monitors. i hurriedly sat on my computer and started to fill out the attendance form. hahaha. i was not late. i was just in time for my first subject. hahaha. i got a perfect score on my post test in Psychiatric Nursing. i was so happy. my hardworks paid off but im not sure what was my score for the pre test. we had our lunch at kfc and we saw our former evil classmates. im so over with those bitches and fags. hahaha. then after eating lunch, we went to a videoke booth to kill time. we did alot of "retardic" things inside the booth and we were laughing our assess off. my MedSurg class awhile ago was so much fun. I got my hand outs so i could easily follow with the discussion and our professor who is very funny re-enacted what happened to him when he had diarrhea for drinking gallons of apple juice to excrete his gallstones. we were all laughing at him when he was telling all those stories. i was almost perfect on my MedSurg quiz and i was happy again. My class ended up almost 7:30pm and my friends decided to eat dinner at McDonalds. we were laughing at McDonalds again. were just so happy people. haha.

sun. heat. sweat.

2006-11-22T03:02:00.000-05:00

the weather is so hot. when i woke up this morning i was sweating. i was so lethargic because of the weather and lack of sleep. i watched two movies in my ipod last night and waited to finish the download of the new version of iTunes. i meet up with my dad. he just came from jersey and it sucks. he just gave me a bunch of groceries. no laptop! no cellphone! no electronics. boooooooooring!!!! im getting nervous for tomorrow because im going to my lectures again. i'll study later so i could have something in my brain before i go to school. i dunno but even if i study, nothing is retained in my brain. i better not study then. hahaha. i was texting my sister last night and i remembered that the PS3 is already out in the market and i was shocked that my younger brothers are not excited about it. maybe they are xbox loyals. haha. im thinking of taking a bath again. im sweating hard. the humid makes the weather hotter. i don't wanna go outside. i don't wanna get burned! haha.

home. nothing to do

2006-11-21T02:08:00.000-05:00

i stayed home today. just read my books and watched tv. i trained my dog to sit in his spot and give him a dog cookie for reward. im getting scared for thursday. we will be having quiz again and i hope i could pass it because i failed my first quiz in MSII. it was a total heartbreak. i admit it. i failed for two reasons. The first one is didn't understand the lecture and next is i didn't review my notes before the quiz started. i was really sleepy that time. the projector makes me feel dizzy. hehe. well, i'll just study and concentrate more so i could pass those quizzes.

monday. pediatrics. crile.

2006-11-20T03:06:00.000-05:00

i got a plan for this day and it went well. my day started at 9am. this day would all be studying. reading my textbooks. i went to recto yesterday to get books required by my professor and today i started reading the Pediatrics chapter by chapter. i kinda understand pediatrics more 'coz i am finished with maternal last sem. i have to be more disciplined now if i want the future i am dreaming of. im thinking of reading everyday. ill bring my books in school even they are heavy. my books are so thick i couldnt handle them with one hand. i know people would call me nerd but i dont care anyway. i'll be getting stuffs for my dog, his name is crile(a surgical tool) and he is a dachshund. i love my dog. i thank my friends who took care of him when i went to Vigan. i haven't seen my dog for like a month and he is now more heavier and longer. hehe.

first week. expect the unexpected. anticipate the worst.

2006-11-18T06:32:00.000-05:00

i'm now a certified grey's anatomy addict. i watched five episodes last night and i didn't even noticed the time and it was already morning. it's just i can relate my life to grey's anatomy. i'm not a med student intern but the things they are talking about in the show are discussed in my class so i could easily understand and thanks to dr. grey. hehe. i woke up late today. ate leah, the bestfriend of my sister invited me to her daughter's birthday so i said yes and i'll be bringing my friends and it was okay for her. it was a children's party so the foods tasted so good it stimulated my appestat so fast. haha. it was a fun party. alot of games and foods. it was perfect. then we went to Barasaoin Church in Malolos, Bulacan and i did pray to God for my family, health, school and my MOM and siblings in New York. im now under stress being a 4th year student. IT"S BEEN ONLY A WEEK!!! Damn!!! It so hard. Professor's are pushing us to the limits. They are testing us every bit of our capacity. They want us to be more competitive so they are giving us homework. TO READ 20 PAGES OF MEDICAL SURGICAL EVERY SINGLE DAY. F*CK! I dunno if i can read those pages but i'll try my very best to pass this sem. Im now getting nervous about my Medical/Surgical II subject because it is the hardest one. I have to balance everything again. School and Play. But i told myself that i'll be concentrating more on school. My MSII class is so hard and my professor talks so fast you could not understanding anything. he flashes up his slides once and that's it. i have to read more now. when i woke up this morning i started to read because exams is fast approaching. we only got 4 meetings until the examination week and a little time to disscussed gazillion pages. my first week in school was so stressful. im now getting ready for the battle. but i hope my body would not succumb and i just hope and pray that GOD would give me more strength to finish this sem again. I'll be going to Recto tomorrow to get books required by my professors. It would cost me but it would help me out. I have to do advance reading. I have to get ready for unexpected situations and to anticpate the worst scenarios 'coz i don't want to get F*CKED UP in the end.

enjoy

2006-11-16T20:31:00.000-05:00

i just finished that NCLEX class and i thought it was boring i was soooo wrong!!! beleieve me! it is the most exciting subject. you got your own PC and you just practice everything from english proficiency to nursing subjects. there's this chatroom for everybody in the class and were just goofin' around in the room. i got a 90 percent in my english proficiency and i was told by the computer i was a native american. haha. i never thought i could speak english that good. hahaha. well, i enjoyed my week long party. i celebrated it thrice. aha aha. im not a celebrity for your info. haha. i had this advance party in Vigan then i treated my classmates, then i went out with my girlfriend. i love my girlfriend. she gave me a Folded and Hung jeans. i was so happy. i got a FnH jeans. i enjoyed my birthday. i wanna thank again to all the people who greeted me. thank you. thank you. i still have my next class. i got this one hour break so to kill the time i forced my friends to surf the net. hahaha.

my birthday

2006-11-16T04:20:00.000-05:00

its my birthday today. im already 20 years old. i woke up with a great smile. check my phone and i was so happy to see alot of greetings for me. im so happy 'coz there are alot of people who remembered my birthday. my mom and my siblings called me up and i felt sad thinking that i hope i did celebrate my birthday there(NY). few more years and every year my birthday would be in New York. hahaha. i want a notebook computer for my birthday. it's like the best gadget for a college student. it would help me alot in school. that's my wish for my birthday. and i hope somebody would give that to me. hehe. my iPod got a power now. im happy and alive again. luckily, it was the first day of my school today, i felt so nervous. anxiety attacks. its too cold in our rooms now, i cant concentrate, im shivering. haha. i hope i could shut those two big airconditions and just open the electric fans. haha. my first day went well until i saw my former evil classmates. haha. i treated my classmates at a Japanese Resto and they sang Happy Birthday to me inspite of other people eating in the resto. I was so touched by what they have done. i will be early tomorrow because of that NCLEX class. i dunno. it would be boring i guess. haha. oh, my previous professor in Operating Room Nursing talked to me awhile ago and told me that I GOT THE HIGHEST GRADE IN HER SUBJECT. I was like shocked and can't believe it. i thank ma'am joy for that grade. and im looking forward to be an Operating Room Nurse. haha. i noticed my uniform is gettin' too small for me. worst part is the hips. it's gettin harder for me to breathe. haha. i wish i could get a new one for this sem. im so happy now. well, its my birthday so there's so much reason to be happy. and i thank all the people who verbally greeted me, texted me, emailed me and made testimonials. i thank you all 'coz you have good hearts and great memory. haha.

im back to what i hate

2006-11-15T03:44:00.000-05:00

my new baby... Havaianas Superman Silver Edition... it's limited... eat your heart out!!!

im here in manila. just arrived this morning. i met up with berna to buy some school supplies. hehe. im just too excited for tomorrow. hehe. well, my first day in class would be tomorrow and im preparing for everything. i got a charger for my ipod. thanks god. i lost the firewire for my ipod and i can't charge it to the computer. i bought notebooks, papers and a pen(gtech. wahaha.). im not that excited huh? hahaha. macky and ate annie went to baguio 'coz tita jols is spending her time too much at home i think. hehe. she need some fresh air. cold air. so she could feel a little canadian weather. hahaha. my party yesterday was so much fun. there are alot of foods and i am too full to travel back here in manila. i ate alot. tita jols bought me two cakes for my party. and i thank her for that. i hope i could go back in vigan again. i miss everybody. i miss Macky my pretty cousin who is my internet buddy and her younger sister Malou who went staright beautiful with her new hair. haha. I miss ate annie who cook foods so yummy. well, that's how my life works. i have to go back to what i hate. being in a place where you think nobody loves and cares for you. in a place where you think your future is broken. but im still struggling to live and still looking a place to fit in. school is the safest place for me. and im hoping my former classmates would not be in my class when i go to school tomorrow 'coz i hate them so bad. it would be the most nerve wracking moment if they are still in my class. i'll try to sleep early tonight so i will not be lazy tomorrow. our rooms will be so cold so next to that is sleeping in class. wahaha. and another thing, my mom sent me a package and i was so excited i opened it when we arrived this morning. i got a new havaianas. its a limited superman silver edition. im just too addictied to havaianas. it is the perfect flip-flops of the century. hahaha. and im wearing it right now. haha. there are also lots of American Eagle clothes and i cant wait to wear them all. a big hug to my MOM.

good morning sunshine

2006-11-13T20:35:00.000-05:00

i feel great today. people were all in panic mode 'coz it is the season of ipon it is a small fish that is very delicious and everybody wants a taste of it. kuya rhoderick ask me to get him a new email add and im here now on his computer. hehe. macky is in school now, she texted me that they are introducing themselves at school. so boring. if i were her, i would go home. haha. i hope her class would end up early so we could go to the net cafe. hehe. this afternoon would be my advance birthday party celebration. and im excited but i'll be going back to Manila tonight 'coz my classes would start on Thursday and it makes me so sad. I will miss Vigan so much.

eating. sleeping. eating.

2006-11-13T00:26:00.000-05:00

I woke up early today maybe because of im going back to Manila tomorrow night. And i will be missing everything here in Vigan. I watered the plants and it was a good start to get some exercise. I enjoyed doing that. But i got tired and lazy after. Hehe. We ate this yummy thing called turon and it is a banana sugar coated food i think. It was so good i ate five. hahaha. We did grocery today. Bought stuffs for my pre-birthday party. Oh yeah! All the people in here all asking me to celebrate my birthday here in advance. I thought it would be fun so i granted what they want. hehe. I was too lazy to move today but im excited to get here in the computer.

anxiously waiting

2006-11-12T01:50:00.000-05:00

...i'll be on my scrub suit again staring on a scalpel

Today is so boring 'coz the weather is beginning to get bad. It's winter here in Vigan i guess. hehehe. I ask my two pretty cousins Macky and Malou to go with me here in the net cafe 'coz were already done doing our task at home. They are cooking snacks for this afternoon. We sneak out 'coz ate annie would get mad again. hehehe. I got my money from Mom and im planning my budget for two months. Well i think i will be spending more since I am on my 4th year in nursing school. More clinical duties and more things to pay up. I spend alot on xerox copies of lectures. I spend like 100 pesos for those xerox copies that i don't read. Few days from now and I'll be back in Nursing school again. And im gettin' anxious for everything. Things would be harder. I better be tough again. Being tough in Nursing school is the most important thing you could be. Learning new things again... harder things. Last semester was full of shit for me. My groupmates were all bullshits. They act so weird i always wanted to put my foot on their throat. They are all fags and bitches. Well, im just hoping that they will not be my classmates again but if they will be on my section, i'll do anything just to transfer to another section. I don't wanna spend another semester in hell. hahaha. Im expecting alot of fun this semester eventhough were only five left on our circle of friends. I'll just study more harder to pass this sem. Ciao!

i got a new page

2006-11-11T04:35:00.000-05:00

weee... got a new page for my blog and im gettin' inspired to write in here. lolx.

The Dad that I Hate

2006-01-04T00:40:00.000-05:00

Today is no ordinary day. I would be meeting up with my EX-FATHER who came from Jersey to do some shit here in the Philippines. Im not proud of my Dad. He did many stupid things and i would be the talk of the town whenever i would go to Vigan. I dunno. He destroyed his own name and we are the one who are suffering from his idiotness and dumbness. I really hate him. Im longing for a Dad. Yes, it's really hard if your dad is not around while youre growing up. I envy movies with Father playing with their Sons, teaching them stuffs that their son would use through their life. Mine? Nothin. He would not care. He would not share.

I won't let the sunrise catch us this time

2006-01-02T03:03:00.001-05:00

"You can kill me... but you can't stop the bleeding"

What they call love is a risk, cause you will always get hit out of nowhere by some wave and end up on your own... Off the port I see the lighthouse through the sleet and rain. And I wish for one more day to give my love and repay debts. But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west... I know that this is what you want. A funeral keeps both of us apart. You know that you are not alone. Need you like water in my lungs. This is the end. So look in my eyes what will you leave behind once you're gone (so precious). You got what you came for now I think it's time to move on. But these ghost come alive like water and wine walk through these streets singing songs they carry inside... To them these streets belong... What If I never lost you, I wouldnt have to find you all over and over (over and over), Your the one Ive, Ive always wanted, The one that I just cant live without, No one understands, The meaning of your eyes, And how I feel, Burning deep inside.. i am a dork. DOORRRKKK. Selflessness kills the souL and hangs it on a tree branch in the sky. I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right and it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark wishin' you were next to me, your head against my heart If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine not a day goes by that I don't think of you after all this time you're still with me it's true somehow you remain locked so deep inside I guess that I'm wrong for falling in love but you're still the one that I'm dreaming of. This is blood for blood and by the gallons. These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. They're back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war. I've walked on this earth for 18 years now. And I've seen and done lots of things. And have been hurt many times in the process. So unless you want to add to that hurt, I suggest you leave right now... Through muffled screams and swollen eyes from lots of lies and alibis I always find my romance in the emergency room I remind you of everything that you hate and you remind me I’m the one to blame I’m fighting myself to get you out of my head but I’m hanging off of every word you said. And just in case you were wondering, you're like a sunset to me...You're all kinds of beautiful as you end my day... because, for me, it's always been you, always. And i've tried to fight it and i've tried to deny it but i cant ... you're undeniable. it was my turn to decide i knew this was our time no one else will have me like you do no one else will have me, only you. It's days like these that make me feel like i wanna bleed through my heart again. At this point in time, I'm okay with me and you and what we've become, but I'm counting the days and nights until I can hear a love song without wanting to cry... a broken heart continues to beat... i guess it's just like breathing or not wanting to, there are some things you can't fake. Well i guess that it's typical to cling to memories you'll never get back again. Sometimes what i want isn't always what i need. Because I'm that cool. You can be anywhere when your life begins, when the future opens up in front of you. And you may not even realize it at first, but it's already happening.There are millions of people out there. But in the end it all comes down to one. I still panic sometimes, forget to breathe. But I know there's something beautiful in all my imperfections. A beauty in which you held out for me to see, a strength that can never be taken away. I'll find you in the morning sun and when the night is new. I'll be looking at the moon, but I'll be seeing you...